after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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