so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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