eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize