How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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