are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
