I wanna bring you to show and tell
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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