That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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