Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
