I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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