I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
