on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
