We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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