So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
