That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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