Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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