took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
