I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
