He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
