I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
