What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
