Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize