hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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