i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and she was petting her beer can
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
