I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
