Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
How's work?
Spinning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
