Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I am morally bankrupt
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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