he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
