honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
