in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize