Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
