the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
