i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
