I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
