Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
