I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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