Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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