Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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