it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
