i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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