I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
