YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
