good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
