He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
