dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
