Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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