I seem to have left my pride at pride
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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