im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
