You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
