Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
