Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
