her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
