This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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