Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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