he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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