Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
