I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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