Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
